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Wednesday, September 25, 2019

SCOOTER (Film Review)

                               Starring: Yoshi Zimmerman, Dondre Tuck, Stephan Pineda

                                  Directed by: Matthew Wohl


  Everyone uses their specific found-footage constructed film in this day and age in the following context: "It's like The Blair Witch Project, but with FILL-IN-BLANK" - now, you can add whatever descriptive text you'd like, but at the end of it all what directors and producers REALLY hope you'll see is that Blair Witch hook staring you smack-dab in your grill. So, here we have Scooter, the latest film by Matthew Wohl, and guess what? It's JUST like that witch movie, but with dudes on scooters...well, how about that?

    I for one would personally like to tell all these marketing departments and creative big-wigs to cut the crap and simply say "ENOUGH - you made a found-footage film - leave it at that." If the product is worthwhile, the fans will approach and appreciate, and if not they'll abandon and disavow. In the case of Scooter, we (in the viewing role) act as the audience for a trio of YouTube goons known as "The Three Amigos" (how intently uninspiring) and their Jackass-wannabe antics, and the online masses have clamored for what is advertised as their last go-round. Their final stunt (if you can actually call it that) is to travel from Miami to New Orleans on personally-purchased scooters, and we're all along for the ride. This over 800-mile journey will showcase their "talents" in a myriad of ways, and just how far the maturity level for baseline entertainment has plummeted, but the real juicy footage comes in when the trio witnesses a murder, and now they've got to Wild Hog it to safety before they're added to the deceased-list...although I'm sure that would increase their view-rate on the Tube.

 While the impending chase scenes do provide some white-knuckled viewing, it's the amount of time spent in order to get there is what's the killer - if the damned scooters slower-than-slow speed isn't enough of a tortoise race...WOW. Even the film's stereotypical backwoods sheriff (Mitch Lemos) appears to be trying far too hard to convince the audience of his bad-assness and it comes off as genuinely overcooked. Altogether the cast works as well as they can to convey this cat-and-mouse pursuit when the shit really hits the fan, but anyone who knows me can understand my grief when it comes to the first-person POV viewpoint with these films - motion-induced nausea is nothing to sneeze at, and I think it first started when I watched that movie about a witch in the woods of Maryland...can't remember the name of it, but I'm sure it'll come to me sooner or later. Overall, Scooter might get you down the road for a short-spell of amusement, but if you're looking for something more along the lines of long-hauling, then keep your keester off of this seat, because the gas runs out rather quickly.

RATING: 2 out of 5

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