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Wednesday, May 28, 2014

The Dice Zombies of Baltimore

I think we can all agree that there's nothing funnier than a well-intentioned-yet-super-corny public service announcement. Over the years, we've seen some doozies.

Remember the "This is your brain on drugs" commercial with the egg in the frying pan? Classic. Or how about the Crash Test Dummies to remind you to wear seat belts? Then there was McGruff the Crime Dog urging you to "Take a bite out of crime." And of course, Smokey the Bear and his famous catchphrase, "Only you can prevent forest fires."

Well, I am pleased to announce that a new campaign has hit the corny PSA market and this one involves.......wait for it.........Yes! ZOMBIES!!

The campaign is for preventing street gambling addiction and zombies are used to portray the helpless, whacked-out street gamblers that are hooked on the dice. It's called "Baltimore Dice Zombies" and it's one minute and 21 seconds of pure awesomeness. Check out the video below:

According to the Baltimore Dice Zombies website, this is a "Baltimore community based project collaborating with local Baltimore youth to help educate and promote general awareness about the potential dangers of dice gambling with the Baltimore community."

The video features six Baltimore teens—Starzz, Devonte, Marvin, Kevin, Scottie and Larry—who, according to the website, "Face the same real life situations like you every day! Watch as they struggle to overcome their daily gambling habits, risking their lives and avoiding becoming zombies!!"

In other words, gambling = zombies.

In the video, the teens are rolling dice in an alley for dollar bills. But as the stakes climb higher, the teens start ripping the watches off their wrists and tossing them in the pot along with hundred dollar bills. As the stakes climb and the pressure mounts, their faces start melting and they begin transforming into DICE ZOMBIES!! Starzz is the only one to resist the urge and remain in the realm of the undead as the Dice Zombies begin to turn on him. (Sorry for not calling "Spoiler Alert")

The site also has a quiz and a checklist to see if you're at risk of becoming a Dice Zombie as well as a help hotline and website. Essentially, if your flesh begins rotting and your appetite for brains starts to equal that of rolling dice, you might be at risk.

That got me wondering. If a zombie did have an itch for the dice, how would he get his fix? We all know zombies hate bright lights and loud noises, so a casino is out. Betfair offers a dice game and craps that you can play online. However, according to the terms and conditions, you must verify your identity if you want to play for real money. Might be tough for a dead guy to pull off.

Oh wait, there's a regular dice game among some teens in the Baltimore slums that I know about. Perfect!

Eat your heart out, McGruff.

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