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Friday, February 11, 2011

Student Paper Examines Bird Deaths and Zombie Link

David Brown

With the reports of the deaths of thousands of blackbirds as well as fish, crabs, and even cows pouring in from around the globe, many are trying to come up with explanations. There are those who have said trauma, indigestion, or even disease could be killing them.  However, students at Purdue University have come up with two other possible reasons for the phenomenon: zombies and aliens. Their descriptions are below.

Zombies: This very well may be the start of the zombie apocalypse. These animals must have contracted the zombie virus, yet their bodies couldn't sustain it. It is only a matter of time before human beings become zombies. Within years, maybe months, weeks, or days, the people inhabiting the communities where these animals died will become zombies and start to spread the infection.

Aliens: The aliens got tired of just cutting the tongues out of cows so they have opted to get rid of a number of Earth's animals instead. If an alien race is thinking about invading and colonizing our planet, they are simply trying to clean house first. Perhaps aliens have started to spread a disease through Earth's animals that we cannot detect with modern science. (Mind you, aliens are more intelligent than we are.) It could be that said disease is, in fact, the aforementioned zombie virus!

image: Rob Sheridan (

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